Another Stupid Human Story
by pitaC89
Summary: Oneshot. Rad gets stuck babysitting five autobots for one School day. Can he take it? Will he crack? will he kill them all? Will the school survive the Autobots?


Disclaimer: I Don't own transformers. Or "A Streetcar Named Desire" only a copy I bought in some town in Michigan that I think was named Delta

AN: this is the result of reading to many human stories and lack of sugary products in my house (I've had to resort to eating Hershey's chocolate syrup). This could be considered part of my "Koji's Son" story's timeline but it's AU to the sequel.

"I get that we're stuck in these human forms for as long as the effects of that strange explosion last but why are we going to school?" Sideswipe asked.

"Because someone somewhere thought it would be a good learning experience for us and help us understand the kids better. So stop complaining", Blurr said annoyed.

" Yeah we're the only ones who get to complain. We're stuck here and we're not even supposed to be on this damn planet" Prowl said.

"Blame Sideburn he's the one who insisted we sign up to come back here" X-brawn said.

"Hey you two wanted to come back and see Koji too. Speaking of which why doesn't he have to be here?" Sideburn asked.

"Dad's twenty-eight and even has a pH. D. He doesn't have to go to school anymore" Rad said exasperated. He known this was a bad idea from the moment Carlos had suggested it. Of course using his powers to turnfive of the transformers into humans had sounded like a good idea at the time but then he'd realized he couldn't turn them back. Things had gone down hill from there. Since his dad wouldn't turn them back (he thought Rad needed to learn responsibility for his powers) Rad had to 'baby-sit' them. Now not only did he have to baby-sit his five siblings he had to watch five robot-turned-humans who were even less mature than his three month old sisters.

"Mr. Onishi class is in secession so would you please shut up!" Mr. Ryan yelled.

"Yes sir." Rad said politely. He was already on thin ice with his dad he didn't need detention to.

* * *

Lunch 

"What is this stuff?" Sideburn asked poking at his food.

"That looks like Principle South's toupee" Rad said looking at the hairy blob.

"Give me that," Principle South said coming out of nowhere and grabbing the hairpiece. He put it back on and went back to making sure that the cafeteria ladies were wearing their hairnets.

"Dude they cheated you out of an entrée" Carlos laughed.

"I'm not sure I want to eat anything that touched that guy's hair anyway", Sideburn said.

Carlos stopped laughing and looked at his food. Then he picked it up and headed for the trashcan. The Autobots followed and then they all headed for the snack line since everything there was prepackaged.

Rad watched this and rolled his eyes. He opened his backpack and took out the meal he'd bought at McDonalds that morning and started eating it while enjoying the few minutes of peace that teleporting the principles wig onto Sideburn's tray had earned him.

* * *

Theatre 1 

"Ok we're going to act out a scene from 'A Streetcar Named Desire'. Now who would like to play Blanche and Mitch? How about umm…Sideswipe and Blurr?" the theater teacher finished questioningly.

"What kind of names are those?" a preppy boy asked mockingly.

"Non-conformist names. What did your parents name you? Bill?" Sideswipe said. Rad who was sitting next to him laughed, knowing the boy's name really was Bill.

The boy blushed and sat down.

"Ok Sideswipe you can play Blanche and Blurr you're doing Mitch. NOT THAT WAY" she yelled at some of the dirtier minded students who'd started laughing. "We all know Mitch has better taste than that".

"Damn straight" a boy from the back of the class yelled.

"Should I feel insulted?" Blurr asked looking at Rad.

"Not really. Nobody suits Mitch's tastes." Rad said.

"Nobody but you" Mitch yelled, winking at Rad.

"No cussing Mitch... or hitting on Rad" she said. "Now Sideswipe, Blurr get on that stage and read your lines with some feeling".

Where do we start?" Blurr asked.

"Page 93 right after "that man will destroy me".

Blurr/Mitch: Blanche-

Sideswipe/Blanche: Yes Honey?

Blurr: Can I ask you a question?

Sideswipe: Yes. What?

Blurr: How old are you?

Sideswipe _nervously_: Why do you want to know?

Blurr: I talked to my mother about you and she said "How old is Blanche?" And I wasn't able to tell her.

Sideswipe: You talked to your mother about me?

Blurr: Yes.

Sideswipe: Why?

Blurr: I told my mother how nice you were, and that I liked you.

Sideswipe: Were you sincere about that?

Blurr: You know I was.

Sideswipe: Why did your mother want to know my age?

Blurr: Mother is sick.

Sideswipe: I'm sorry to hear it. Badly?

Blurr: She won't live long. Maybe a few months.

Sideswipe: Oh

Blurr: She wants me to be settled before she-_ voice hoarse and he clears his throat_

Sideswipe: You love her very much, don't you?

Blurr: Yes.

Sideswipe: I think you have a great capacity for devotion. You will be lonely when she passes on, won't you? _Blurr nods_ I know how that is.

Blurr: To be lonely?

Sideswipe: I loved someone, too, and the person I love I lost

Blurr: Dead? A man?

"Ok that's enough. After that Blanche goes on forever about a boy who committed suicide because he was married to her but was really gay and sleeping with his friend until Mitch finally kisses her. Would you two like to do that part too?" the teacher asks.

"No!" They yell at the same time.

"Well then you two can take your seats. I do recommend you both try out for our fall show. Your either incredible actors or deeply in love and miserable."

"We'll go with incredible actors" Blurr said with an anime sweat drop.

As they were leaving the class after the bell rang Rad tried to ignore what Sideswipe and Blurr were saying.

"How did she know?" Sideswipe whispered.

"Shh we're out in public someone might hear" Blurr said back.

* * *

Health 

Rad was trying not notice the couple in the back that was making out in the back of the classroom in the few minutes before the teacher arrived. They always did this and he found himself wishing that they would break up so he didn't have to watch.

"Hey you two break it up and get to class" Mr. Settle said walking in.

The boy took off out the door so he wouldn't be late for his next class and the girl sat down in her seat.

"Today we're going to be cover the male reproductive system even though Erin seems to be studying that in here already" the girl blushed.

Mr. Settle turned on the projector and placed a transparency with a picture showing various parts on it.

Rad looked to see how the Autobot brothers to see what they tought of this.

"I told you humans weren't that different from us" Sideburn whispered to his brothers.

"Yeah I bet they reproduce the same way we do too" X-brawn said.

Rad decided to zone out for the rest of the class after hearing this.

* * *

Spanish 2 

"For my Spanish name I choose Don Juan" Sideburn said smiling at the class skank. She smiled back.

"Speedy Gonzales for me" X-brawn said. "Adele! Adele! Areba!"

"How do you say "stop you're under arrest" in Spanish?" Prowl asked.

Rad turned towards his Spanish teacher. " Joder tu, Punta"

" 'Ad. Go to the office now!" his teacher said in a heavily accented voice.

Rad smiled. Peace and quiet at last!

* * *

ROTC 

"ATTEN-HUT!" Rad yelled. Five Autobots and one human snapped to attention.

"Right Face". They turned right.

"DROP AND GIVE ME EIGHTY FOR THIS PITIFUL COMBINATION OF MOVEMENTS YOU ARE TRYING TO PASS OFF AS DRILL!" he yelled in a drill sergeant voice.

"Onishi! You know your not allowed to give cadets pushups", Col. Onishi yelled.

"Fine. FALLOUT AND FALLIN OUTSIDE! WE'RE GOING TO DRILL THAT DRILL PAD INTO THE GROUND!" The six looked to Col. Onishi for help.

"That you can do" she said before heading back to her office.

* * *

Chemistry 

"Rad what happens if I mix these two chemicals?" Sideburn asked as he poured one into the other.

"NO! Those two are highly volatile when mixed together!" Rad yelled.

BOOM!

"STOP DROP AND ROLL! STOP DROP AND ROLL CHILDREN!"

* * *

"Is school always like that?" Sideswipe asked. 

"Sometimes" Carlos said.

"Well we'll see tomorrow, won't we?" Blurr said.

"What?" Rad said with the vein in his forehead twitching.

"Well we have to go to school until we get turned back to normal" Prowl said.

Rad's hands started to glow at the thought of spending another day at school like today. A giant energy ball formed in his hands.

"Rad watch it. You don't want anybody to know you're a demon do you?" Carlos said.

Rad threw the energy ball to the ground hard. A bright light surrounded the group and when it faded they couldn't believe their eyes.

"Yes we're back to normal!" Sideburn exclaimed.

"Not quite" Prowl said. Sure enough they still had their human heads.

"Rad could you fix this?" Blurr asked.

"I GIVE UP!" Rad yelled before teleporting out.

"Do you think he'll be back?" Sideswipe asked worriedly.

"Don't worry Koji will make him come to the base and fix this" X-brawn said.

"What if he didn't go home" Carlos asked, who they suddenly realized looked just like them.

"Where else would he go?"

* * *

Megatron was in the middle of a war council when Rad teleported in. the Deceptacons stared in shock as he summoned a couch and collapsed on it. 

"If anybody asks you've kidnapped me and won't give me back until you have all the Minicons in your possession" he told them before falling back on the couch and falling asleep finally free of his annoying friends.

THE END

Joder tu, Punta translates to Fuck you, Bitch

AN: Extreme boredom brought this to be


End file.
